I love you Facebook… do you love me?

I love you Facebook for filling up every nano second of my downtime.

Who needs quiet time to think, or plan their day, or their life for that matter?

We need more clutter in our skull encased attic… keep it coming!

I love you Facebook for distracting me from the people I’m actually with… so that I can make posts to others who are looking to be distracted from those living, loving, actual people they are with.

Thank you for giving me a place to discuss my divorce.  I can rant and rave!  Call her a whore and he a douche!  I can be pissed about the girl that he found on Facebook that he knew in 3rd grade, and shared Mrs. Snicklefritz with… the teacher they both hated.

Now two families are broken.

I’m not mad Facebook… I know it’s not your fault.  It’s his fault, it’s her fault.

It’s not because I’ve gained 40 pounds and stopped wearing makeup.

It’s not because fantasy football and the Duck Dynasty are more important than pursuing my goals in life or having an actual face to face conversation with her my wife, or him my husband.

It’s not because I’m more interested in the trivial goings on of those who post the most mundane, ridiculous, and thoughtless drivel.

It’s because… wait where was I?

Oh yeah, I love you Facebook!

Hold on… oh cool!  My brother just woke up!

My ex-girlfriend (who for some reason I’m FB friends with) just posted another selfie… it has 3 likes already!

Oh poor guy… the dude with the neck tattoo can’t find a job… and hates the President.

The girl with the duckface and cleavage in her new daily pic cannot seem to find true love.  I wonder why?  She seems so loving… in her cynical self indulged posts.

Hold on… someone just posted an adorable video of a cat chasing a ball of yarn, I better click through.

Oh, I’m so proud of my niece ShaNayNay… she just got a C+ in her special needs gym class specifically designed for morbidly obese 10 year olds.  She’s so cute… she thinks Chicken McNugget is a food group… she just posted it on Instagram!

I really do love you Facebook.. from the bottom of my darkened, shallow, empty, sometimes shattered… but still lovingly beating heart.  LOL, LMFAO, IDK, FU2…I love facebook

Leave A Response

* Denotes Required Field